Brotherhood of Blood
by ChristSaviour
Summary: Despite the title, it's a comedy. The three Snakes form a band.
1. Part 1

Brotherhood of Blood  
  
Part 1 (A beginning to our rousing adventure.)  
  
March 17th, 1985. FOXHOUND ultimate soldier clones care department.   
  
The Setiing: A small room that looks distinctly like a hospital ward. Three teens sit in gleaming white, single beds. Their names are Liquid, Solid, and Solidus. Solid is strumming an unplugged electric guitar and casually singing.  
  
Liquid: Stop it, Snake. You're worthless. You can't play properly. Fool! I'll grow up and be something good, like evil genius...  
  
Solidus: (Interrupting) Or president!  
  
Liquid: Idiot! That's your dream! I'm going to be an evil genius, or a bass player in a famous band.  
  
Solid: I play guitar! I'll join.  
  
Solidus: I always thought you'd be a government agent.  
  
Solid: Screw you. I've changed my mind.  
  
Liquid: Fine, let's be a band.  
  
Solid: I bag singer.  
  
Liquid: Bugger. 


	2. Part 2

Part 2 (Many more to come)  
  
1 April, 1985. Some garage or other where a gig is booked. No-one is there other than Liquid and Solid, who are holding guitars.  
  
Liquid: Where the hell is everyone?  
  
Solid: Do you know the date?  
  
Liquid: April 1st...Damn! We're april fools! 


	3. Part 3

Part 3(In which Liquid And Solid have their big break...no, it's not a king size KitKat.)  
  
29 April, 1985. Another old garage. Amps and microphones are set up.  
  
Liquid: Are you ready to rock?  
  
(Crowd cheers)  
  
Solid: Alright, let's get going!  
  
(They play several songs. Little do they know a Sony Music Industries talent spotter is there, disguised as a grunger.)  
  
Talent Scout: (Into concealed microphone) Yes, I repeat, the talent is in the garage...yes, at the place we discussed.  
  
Grunger#1: Dude, are you talking in code into a concealed microphone?  
  
Talent Scout: Er...yes?  
  
Grunger#2: Let's get him!  
  
Grunger#1: Why?  
  
Grunger#2: I dunno.  
  
Talent Scout: Lock the place down! Surround them!  
  
(Sony soldiers surround the garage. Yes, Sony are so rich, they have a personal army. 


	4. Part 4

Part 4 (What adventures will our brave heroes find ourselves in this time? How will they escape the bad man from Sony?)  
  
April 30th, 1985. Sony torture chamber. A Sony operative is torturing Solid and Liquid. It turns out to be Ocelot, master of torture.  
  
Ocelot: Now, I'm going to ask you one last time. Do you want a record deal or not?  
  
Solid: I already told you, yes! In fact I'm dying for one! I'm saving up to buy an arcade machine of Pac-man.  
  
Ocelot: You just don't get it do you?  
  
Solid: Er..yes?  
  
Ocelot: NO ANSWERING BACK.  
  
Solid: I wasn't, you asked me a question.  
  
(Ocelot electrocutes him)  
  
Solid: OOWWWWWWWWW!  
  
Ocelot: NO ANSWERING! Have you learnt your lessom?  
  
Solid: -------  
  
Ocelot: Answer me! Have you learnt your lesson?  
  
Solid: Errrr.....no?  
  
(Ocelot electrocutes him again.  
  
Ocelot: And you, Liquid, you've been very quiet. That's good. As punishment, you can have....oohhh, 500 volts.  
  
(Electrocutes him.)  
  
Liquid: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!  
  
Ocelot: And now, you're free to go.  
  
Liquid and Solid: (relieved) aaahhhh. 


	5. Part 5

Part 5 (What is this? Solidus has changed his mind and wants to join the band? He is indeed a bad man.)  
  
May 9th 1985, FOXHOUND Ultimate Warrior clones care home. A drum tutor is there with Solidus.  
  
Drum Tutor: And this one's called the snare drum. Say it, Snare drum.  
  
Solidus: This is boring. Let me play the bloody instrument.  
  
Drum Tutor: NO! MINE! ALL MINE! My preciouuusss!  
  
Solidus: (Holding gun to Drum Tutor's head) Let me play.  
  
Drum Tutor: OK.  
  
(One hour later)  
  
Drum Tutor: (Leaving Solidus' Room) We hate's them Ssssssnakessss, yes, we doesss, precccioussss. 


	6. Part 6

Part 5 (In which our heroes will do something...I haven't decided yet.)  
  
June 30th, 1985. A gig, with a crowd of 500. Solidus walks onstage as the boys are just setting up.  
  
Liquid: Well well, look who's come crawling back!  
  
Solidus: I have not come crawling back!   
  
Liquid: Oh yeah, I guess you're right, since you never wanted to join.  
  
Solidus: I did too! Ever since the beggining, I wanted to join! You wouldn't let me!  
  
Liquid: Now, we always seem to argue about things like this, so I recorded you saying you didn't want to join.  
  
(Plays tape into microphone)  
  
Tape: Liquid (Very poorly impersonated gay British accent): I'm forming a band. Solidus: Can I join? Liquid: no.  
  
Liquid: Who's been screwing with this thing?  
  
(Crowd boos him offstage, and Solid. However, they all cheer for Solidus.) 


	7. Part 7

Part 7 (In which Solidus (Bad Man) joins the band. What disturbances will this cause? Does anyone care? Will anyone review, or even read this? We'll find out.)  
  
July 1st, 1985. Sony headqaurters. Ocelot is there, and so is another bad man...the owner of Sony Music International (Noooooooo.)  
  
Bad Man: Well, Solidus, you caused quite a stir at the gig yesterday.  
  
(Ocelot whips Solidus)  
  
Bad Man: It was a good thing, Ocelot.  
  
Ocelot: Oh. (Whips Solidus twice as hard.)  
  
Bad Man: So, I want you to be the drummer in the band! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Gasping) Oooh, I'm out of breath. Need inhaler. (Takes a puff) Aaaaah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So, do you accept?  
  
Solidus: Yes.  
  
(Ocelot whips him.)  
  
Bad Man: Good. You'll be the drummer.  
  
(Ocelot whips Solidus.) 


	8. Part 8

Part 8 (In which our two heroes (And one very bad anti-hero) Become a proper band, with a record deal and stuff.)  
  
July 3rd, 1985. Sony Music International Headquarters. (That old place again) The band is there, as is Sony Bad Man.  
  
Bad Man: So, do you want a record deal?  
  
Solid: For f**k's sake, YES!  
  
(Ocelot whips him. I know, I didn't say Ocelot was there, but he is.)  
  
Solid: Ow! Son of a bitch!  
  
Ocelot: Thanks. (Pokes him with red-hot poker)  
  
Solid: OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!  
  
Solidus: Hey, it's left writing on you!  
  
Solid: Son of a! What does it say?  
  
Solidus: Sony Music International! Shit!  
  
Liquid: What?  
  
Bad Man: You belong to us now. Slaves.  
  
Solid: Son of a bitch. Where's my gun?  
  
Bad Man: (Doing that evil laugh that evil people do) Well, I'd hardly have got my job as a...well, I can't tell you my real identity, can I? (He and Ocelot laugh)  
  
Liquid: Why? What's your real identity? Transvestite prostitute?  
  
(Bad Man is so annoyed by this he forgets to keep his identity secret)  
  
Bad Man: No, you gay Brit with a gay British accent, I'm a Patriot! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Liquid and Solidus: I really hate patriots.  
  
Bad Man: How do you know about the la-li-lu-le-lo?  
  
(Author's Note - You might well ask. The answer is that Hideo Kojima's plots constantly have problems regarding when things happened. Just see Aries Draco's Can You Handle The TRUTH?)  
  
Liquid and Solidus: Errrrrmmmm...  
  
Ocelot: Shut up! Things that don't make sense don't matter! (Pokes bad man with another red hot poker)  
  
Bad Man: Oooooowwww! What does it say?  
  
Ocelot: Possession of Shalshaska, also known as Revolver...Revolver...Revolver...  
  
Snake: Ocelot?  
  
Ocelot: Ocelot! I was just about to say that! Now, become my possession! (Shoves poker in their direction. It burns through the ropes. Crap, I forgot to mention they were tied up, didn't I?)  
  
(Solid, Liquid and Solidus run off. However, they still belong to Sony, so they could still potentially get a record deal. Bad Man runs after them with a contract. Ocelot is about to call him. So as not to breach legal contract, Bad Man covers his ears so he doesn't hear Ocelot. He writes down that he wants the band to sign. They do so, then run off.)  
  
Bad Man: (Uncovering ears) Wait! What's your name!  
  
Liquid: Brotherhood Of Blood! 


End file.
